Stay Where You Can Sing

For the last couple of weeks, I’ve noticed a blackbird who comes to visit our home daily, “he” sits on the gable outside my window and gives us a flutey-whistle concert, for over 25 minutes, it just whistles its little heart out with songs. He visits us at dawn and dusk and my gable it’s its personal stage.

I moved house in December and I love the quiet from “village” living. The main conversations I hear are amongst birds, or nature talking in its visible language. 

This little blackbird legend has seen me a few times, he has not minded me and has kept singing, but today, I moved the curtain possibly too fast and he darted off. 

I have listened to Dr. Gabor Mate speak about the basic human essentials for emotional health and wholeness. They are non-negotiable needs that are meant to be necessary for the first stages of children’s development, but it is something that even we, adults, as well as animals, need.

These are universal requirements and include: Safety, Nurturing, Belonging, Autonomy & Play.

We all need to feel safe from harm, to be accepted and feel that we are part of something, physical and emotional care, freedom to be ourselves as well as having space for joy and creativity. 

This little bird to me represents how our lack of conscious awareness/attention at times can bring us and/or those around us into a “fight, flight or freeze” response and I wonder:

how would life be if we all deepened our attention and live mindfully? 

If we took a slower pace? 

If we felt safe in both our inner and outer environments? 

If we felt reverence for life? 

Unless we feel safe, we can’t sing and everything that that represents: feeling free, easeful, safe, open, relaxed. 

My friend told me that blackbirds don’t wander far from their chosen spot, they hold a loyalty to a place. This is probably not because they’re lazy, but maybe because they knows safety lives there? 

We’re no different. When we stay, and revisit places where we’re seen, heard, where we are not judged, our song comes easier. And this place, is not only geographical, but also a daily offering to ourSelves.

Our song doesn't need to be loud but allowed.

I, like the bird, love singing, but most of us can only sing (openly express ourselves) when we are comfortable where we are.

Singing isn’t just sound, it’s an exhale, it’s a quiet sign of relaxation. Whenever we don’t feel at ease, we hold our breath, yet, when we find a space (literal or emotional) where we are relaxed enough, we stop bracing, we stop scanning for threats, and not only our vocal chords relax, but so does our heart. 

In yoga, we learn the same lesson the blackbird knows by instinct: you can’t really open until your body feels acknowledged, safe, seen, held, and listened to. When we offer ourselves our own basic needs, the body can finally stop tensing and this can turn, over time, in the gentle song or hum of being truly alive. 

May you stay where you can “sing” 🫶

If you need someone to talk to, there’s this beautiful charity called MIND who provide professional support free of charge https://www.mind.org.uk/need-urgent-help/using-this-tool/

Some sites that also support emotional and mental health are https://www.headspace.com/app & https://www.betterhelp.com/

With love and care,

Amor Armitage