Family Tree ~ Our Inherited Baggage

In 2018, I was experiencing some conditions that were a call for attention; energetic depletion, flares of endometriosis, noticeable changes in mood, and along with blood tests and health checks, I also started a search for answers that led me to different healing routes and insightful discoveries worth sharing.

One of my friends recommended "Family tree therapy" so I gave it a go. I didn't know what to expect before the session but it actually blew me away! It gave me so many answers to family dynamics, family wounds and the obstacles that keep showing up within my lineage. It was so interesting to learn about it as our family tree has a major imprint on our lives, whether we are conscious of it or not.

"Your wound is probably not your fault, but your healing is your responsibility"

The aim of trans-generational family tree (sometimes also tied to psychogenealogy and biological decoding aka "biodescodidificación") is to bring hidden family dynamics to the light so you can consciously choose to break repeating cycles that cause disharmony and pain.

This type of therapy tells us that when loved ones pass on, their Essence/Spirit/ Soul wants to continue their lives/story (often through someone in the family), so that we can either fulfil unaccomplished dreams or change something that they didn't have the chance to change in their lives.

The core idea is that the family has an unconscious memory and we're loyal to it without realising it. This loyalty can show up as repeating traumas, illnesses or relationship patterns.

This family tree has to do with the hidden inheritance we get from our ancestors/lineage and will quietly steer our life in a certain direction

Each one of us have a fragment of 14 direct ancestors

2 parents, 4 grandparents, and 8 great-grandparents

Of those 14 direct ancestors, we might have what is known as a "perfect double." Doubles are those unconscious links where someone mirrors an ancestor through a shared birthday, name or significant date. They act like energetic echoes, pulling you to repeat that person's emotional patterns or unresolved story. The stronger the coincidence, the tighter the bond. This doesn't only include blood-related family but also those who join the family (e.g if you marry someone, you become part of the family system.)

How to identify your "doubles"?

1. Name: If your name is the same as one of your family members , that makes you a direct double

2. Date of Birth or Death: For this, there's a time frame that starts 10 days before your date of birth (no year involved) and 10 days after your birthday, anyone who is born or passes away within that time period, becomes your "double." For example, if your grandpa dies on the day of your birthday or within the time frame I just mentioned, it makes you their "universal heir" and practically, you take everything (non-material) that will usher your live in a certain way; influenced by his (unaccomplished) dreams, aspirations, desires and rejections, pulling you to repeat or heal your ancestor's patterns.

3. Double by profession: If a person from your family does the same job or has the same role as you in this moment.

4. Double by disease: If you have the same ailment, disease or condition that someone in your family. This is believed to be about loyalty to the family clan (both consciously and unconsciously.)

5. Double by major event: This happens when a significant event in your life mirrors one in an ancestor's, like a divorce, accident or loss. e.g, most (if not all) women in my family are single mums, or a few people in my tree has lost a child, etc.

To work out who your doubles are or the ones that are connected to you beyond the clear family bonds, the 10 days before and 10 days after your birthday time farme still applies

So, if I am born on August 7th

- 28th of July - 17th of August: Anyone in my family tree who is born within this time frame is my "perfect double"

If you happen to join a person in partnership with whom you are perfect doubles with, it is said that you two get together to heal incest that has happened in our family tree, so you two are, energetically speaking, "siblings." This can bring certain complexities to the relationship as it would have done when/if incest happened in the family past, unless healing happens.

- Add 6 months to that time frame to work out who are "your teachers" who come here to show you and teach you big lessons in life. 28th January- 17th February

To me, it was really impactful to do this family tree. I realised there were so many connections I had with different members of my family and once I realised who my doubles and teachers were, things made a bit more sense. Doing this gave me insights into some of "my ways," provided answers to what I was looking for and also brought clarity to patterns I wish not to repeat.

If you would like to do your own genosociogram and find your connections, this is how it looks like =)

The most relevant aspect of doing this family tree is to work on healing it (most need some sort of healing) and for that, we need to:

1) Recognise/Acknowledge our family members: Mother, father, grandparents, great-grandparents even if I didn't meet or didn't like them. They are in us, they live in our biology, we are here thanks to them, whether we like or not.

If there has been someone in our family tree who has been excluded in any way, someone along the line will come to rock the tree. Have you watched "Encanto" the Disney movie?. It's quite symbolic as it represents the family's unresolved pain and how wounds within the family want to be noticed and eventually healed.

If you watched Encanto, you may remember Bruno. Like him, all family members wanted to be acknowledged and accepted and not exiled, they want to make a change in the views of what can be seen as unaccepted in the eyes of the norm or society.

For example, if there was someone in the family who was an alcoholic/drug addict/criminal or someone who simply didn't follow what the family expected of him or her (e.g in terms of education or even marrying someone the family despised) and who then was rejected and casted off from all ties with the family, will eventually create a ripple effect to the family tree which, in order to evolve, will experience a similar experience in the present/future. When this happens, someone, different from the norm will be born in the family, such as LGBTQ, where acceptance and understanding is required and needs to be developed in the family.

2) Accept them: There may be some family members we we don't truly accept due to certain circumstances or views that affected the way we feel about them or maybe we simply don't get along or understand each other. This doesn't mean you need to pretend you like them, but perhaps get curious. How would my relationship with them be in the absence of my views or opinions about them? Who and how would I be wthout my thoughts? Can we meet them like an empty page rather than a logbook that's already full?

3) Honour their belonging in the tree:  Sometimes, family hierarchies shift and roles get confused, disrupting the natural balance. For example, if your mom becomes a single parent and you take on the role of caring for, supporting, and providing for her, you’re sending an energetic signal that you’re in a partnership with her, as if you were her partner. This can make it hard for your own relationships to succeed, because energetically, you’re already committed to someone else. Your partner may then feel single on an energetic level, which can lead to intimacy issues or even infidelity, as that “single” signal can be picked up subconsciously by others. This causes a disorganisation in the tree, whether I become my mum's "mum", my husband's "mum", etc. Organisation is very important as there is a role for every single one of us

In a family tree, every person has their rightful role. Restoring that order is essential for the tree to stay organised and balanced, and it's key to bringing healing to our lineage. These are the three steps to healing the tree that I learnt from Patricia, a Colombian therapist I worked with.

By healing the tree, we heal ourselves and by healing ourselves, we heal the tree.